At first the conversation went well. We've talked about similar things before and some of the issues I have, he actually has too and sometimes, just knowing that I'm not alone in feeling the way I feel is help enough. But then after after a short while, instead of supporting me in how I told him I've chosen to deal with it ( = seeing a therapist), he starts giving me "advice". Or rather tells me how I should feel. For example, I told him that going into a firm/shop/whatever to hand in a resume is absolutely terrifying to me. A simple "Aw, that sucks. I'm sorry you feel that way" was all that I needed. Instead he starts telling me that there's nothing to be scared of and that I should just go ahead and do it 'cause it isn't that bad (or something to that effect). It's so frustrating because a) you can't tell me to just not be scared - that's not how fear works, b) you can't tell me something isn't bad when you don't truly understand how I fell and c) these are the words I tell myself already and they're only making things worse because I then feel pathetic for not being able to overcome something that should be simple and easy. So even though his words came from a place of caring they had the opposite effect.
Then, when I tell him that his so called advice is not helpful he gets defensive.
This scenario has played out many times with different people and it's equally frustrating every time.
One good thing that has come of these not-so-fun experiences is the realization really is the best choice for me at this point.
I'll really do my best next week to finally book my first appointment even though even the thought seems overwhelming.
- Janni
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